Monday, June 20, 1983

And this day

Summer is here: the sun beats down from a clear sky and this afternoon all I could muster up the energy to do was lounge about on the grass outside the coffee shop with Fabian, Guy and Barry. Later Shelley and I sprawled near the cafeteria for a couple of hours before we wandered back to Wollstonecraft and I played the now regular five-a-side football match outside on the grass.

In the evening we went up the Town and Gown. Barry has found three girls who want a place over the summer and we bumped into them in the bar. We made a fairly firm arrangement to sublet our rooms to them until October.

After this was more or less settled I felt a shade disappointed that I’d rejected the opportunity to live down here over summer, but on the whole I was glad to avoid the expense this would entail. Shelley was very quiet as we sat there and seemed pissed off. She isn’t looking forward to spending three months down here by herself.

We got back to Wollstonecraft at eleven and I was all of a gloom once more. I lounged with S. in her room, joined occasionally by Barry or Guy or Pete. She was in a depressed state and took six paracetamol and as we talked she gradually slipped into sleep.

“I don’t know anything about you” she said, starting to sound just like Rowan used to. Bound up by the gloom of the prevailing mood as we both were she said that her life was going to be an awful mess one day. . . .

I hardly said a word, and left for bed at 3 a.m.

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