Stagnant hazy white

The day started out fairly warm and sunny, but as the afternoon wore on the sky turned a stagnant hazy white.

Barry got a recorded delivery letter from Patrick containing four tabs of acid and more news of Phil, who suffered a proper breakdown last Monday. He gouged his wrists and claimed that when he went to see his girlfriend Fiona she bit him and tried to kill him. He was in tears and said he'd “tried so hard.” Patrick described him as being really hopeless: he’s now back in Debdenshaw working in a McDonald’s.

I got Mum and Dad’s cheque for £90 this morning too along with a wad of grant forms to fill in. I worked out how much I spent last week—a horrifying £91, £30 on Saturday alone. I bought another tab of acid from Barry: he, Pete, and I may take some over the weekend.

I've done no work. Rowan, Barry, Russ and I went out to the Town and Gown for a drink in the evening. Russ was in an objectionable mood, airing his ‘masculine’ antagonisms and being thoroughly unbearable. There’s no way I’m going to live with him next year.

Rowan told me I shouldn’t put up an amiable front to people like Russ who are so totally uncompromising. Penny continues with her moping depressions and was in tears again tonight. Immediately after people have talked long and hard to her she says she's “going to be positive,” but she soon falls back into despair and lack of confidence.