Today Lindsey, Liddy and the founder members of the embryonic Revolutionary Communist Society (aided by Carl Cotton, Barry, John Turney and Del) showed the RCP’s Irish Freedom Movement video on campus and held a discussion afterwards. Both went very well and sixty or so people attended, most of who signed up for ‘further information.” SWSO apparently feel that their position as the largest left-wing party on campus is being threatened—rightly so—and talk with sneering bravado about the uselessness of showing “Channel 4 videos.”
Barry and Pete came back pissed after celebrating this success at the Cellar, Barry jubilant as he had a girl’s telephone number, a seventeen-year old blonde secretary called Tina. They were both noisy and this made me feel morose: if I contemplate having a drink I feel guilty, as though I’m transgressing sacred vows blah blah and I feel as if my self-restraint and self-denial is being pursued to no end.
This has become a vacuous stance and I’m hopelessly confused at times. I know that the answer lies within my own mind and if I could isolate the “creating, willing, valuing I that is the measure and the value of all things,” then all things past, present and future would be resolved. “The actor is free to improvise his own part.”
If I fail I’ll disappoint no one but myself.
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