All-encompassing

Today’s tutorial with Alan Draper was a bit off-putting. I missed my nine o'clock slot, so went with Pete to the one at eleven.

It was a pathetic group, including a girl with a nasal foghorn voice who droned on at Alan D. about the difficulty of getting books (“We’re finding it impossible”), and a North country lad who came out with the word “doddle”; AD didn’t understand, so the lad apologised for his “provincialness.” Minutes into the session someone else stuck up his hand and asked if he could go get a drink. When he returned he had a can of Coke and a cheese roll; Pete smirked at me with eyebrows raised in disbelief.

As the tutorial progressed, Foghorn Girl slumped further and further into her seat, her leg dangling wearily over the arm of the chair, and adopted a pained and bored expression; once she even glanced at her watch, which prompted Alan D. to say, “Thanks a lot…” The tutorial didn’t go well and Pete was pretty sickened off; neither of us have much enthusiasm for the future. I'm glad I’m making an attempt to switch to Lit.

In the afternoon Pete and I went with Barry and Lindsey to their Sociology lecture given by Dr. Howard Kirk on “Positivism and Idealism.” It was incomprehensible. However, it did give me the idea that attending lectures unrelated to my courses is a good thing. Earlier in the day Barry went to a lecture on the Theory of Capital as part of his own self-imposed study of Marxism. He's aiming to read a hundred pages a day, starting off with The German Ideology. This is one aspect of him I admire.

It would be great to have some sort of course of study or specific interest of my own to pursue but, as I’ve written before, I find no ideology or structure that satisfies me. They all leave me with a disquieting feeling that there’s something missing. I want something all-encompassing.