←expansive→

Lee rang, and is hitching back tomorrow: he expects to be in Easterby by five p.m. I will probably return South at the end of the week. I’m looking forward to going back. I must make a start on something.

If I’m to achieve anything it will be through the word (the word here) rather than by any other means . . . but what do I mean by ‘achieve’? Not fame and fortune, but the contentment of knowing real progress and advancement towards a creative goal. I need to dispense with the bookish form that’s two dimensional and far removed from the single passing moment, the Now of Reality. I’m a prisoner of this text and my fear eliminates experiment and rigidifies my form of expression.

I need different things at different times, to make this ←--------expansive--------→ rather than reductive. At the moment I try and squeeze different times into the same ‘thing,’ hence the unwillingness and heavy brain/hand. My fear of transgressing the ‘laws’ of prose logic and narrative ‘readability’ means I string words together into colourless, formal phrases, subject to the ‘and’s, the commas, the tyranny of grammar.

This shouldn’t be a dissertation or essay but a space of release.