Sunday, February 6, 1983

Fallen apart

I've stayed up for thirty eight hours straight, from Friday lunchtime until 4 a.m. this morning. This journal has fallen apart of late: the momentum and incentive seems to have gone, but then in a way the incentive for a lot of things has gone. . . . Recently I’ve been feeling utterly deadened by this journal but I've warmed again to the idea over the last few days.

I haven’t done a stroke of work in weeks.

Maybe my desire to live out a level of intensity is just an expression of a desire to have some sort of a connection with someone?

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