Sunday, February 8, 1981

Nudge-nudge, wink-wink, etc.

I set off for Moxthorpe just after eleven and as I walked up Beatrice Avenue and rang the bell of No. 55 I felt tied up inside, probably with excitement. Within a few minutes, Claire came down and opened the door.

Claire and I sat in the living room, uneasily at first, and I exchanged routine words with her Dad, who made the usual comments about my height (“watch out for the ceiling, heh, heh!"). So boringly predictable. After forty minutes we left.

We took the bus and got off at the stone sheds at Woodhead Park and then walked down to Gladden Road. Lee saw us as we approached and waved and shortly we were sitting in his front room drinking coffee. We spent most of the afternoon up in his third floor attic bedroom playing cards and watching some of his old films. Quite enjoyable. Duncan came at about two and we had some cheesey-tomato fried things and coffee downstairs before he left around half-four. For the next hour Claire talked to Mrs. Hoy.

It was throwing it down at six so Mrs. Hoy gave us a lift back. I did enjoy it but I can't escape my pathetic insecure thoughts about what Claire thinks of me and what I do. Dad kept on baiting me when I got back; nudge-nudge, wink-wink etc., and I felt worse.

I rang Jeremy at teatime about this debate tomorrow, and really feel as if I can't be bothered with it. I’ll have to write my speech up tomorrow.

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