Thursday, July 24, 1980

Wednesday July 23rd

The days are already becoming monotonous – each week will blur into the next in a seemingly endless succession of empty, boredom-filled days until September.

Today I got up earlier than the last two days because I intended (last night anyway) in going to Easterby. Instead I read “The Ape Within Us” by John MacKinnon, which I began yesterday. He traveled around Malaya watching gibbons and siamongs and Central Africa trailing chimpanzees, gorillas and bonobos. It would be quite easy to do something like that – just follow a particular individual or group around every day noting down every activity, and would I reckon, be more enjoyable than wandering round the world without purpose or direction.

It was another sunny and warm day (the thermometer on the landing was at 70F at nine thirty, as it is now at 1230 in the evening.), and I read my book intermittently all day. Mum went into Easterby to, among other things, put £7 in my Deposit Account (I now have £43.00).

In the evening, Mum and Dad went out to Nanna B’s to deliver Susan’s wedding present (she’s getting married on Saturday and I’m going!!), and I again listened to music in my bedroom (after watching the Olympics and “Porridge”).

Andrew felt depressed. He told me so while we were listening to records. He said he looks forward to coming home but after a few days he realises how boringly staid everything is – Dad making the same predictable arguments – Mum countering with her old favourite “Well, us arguing about it won’t do any good.” He said that next summer he’s going to save up some money and do something different. I know how he must feel, that life lacks something here – there must be a stifling claustrophobia about things when compared to life ‘away.’ He said he just feels demoted again to one of the children, like it was before he went to college.

When I get older I am determined to see the world. I know it is the corny cliché but I really am. I’m going to save up a few hundred quid and just go. I’m going to get as much pleasure out of life as possible. Maybe on one of the Appeals – but I’d prefer to go with a friend (Grant Riley perhaps?).

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