Monday, June 1, 1981
Back to school; I liked seeing everyone again after a fortnight. Within a few minutes though, it was obvious that there was nothing different, just my eternal self-criticism and frustration and a complete feeling of ineptitude and obscurity. I hate it. It's just blatant self-pity I know, but who cares?? In the afternoon, we had a talk about universities, which was quite informative.
The evening was superbly still and warm and I was going to go to Easterby Astronomical Society but was secretly relieved to discover I only had about 50p and couldn't afford the bus fare. I watched Making of Mankind and Credo instead. This last programme was really good and makes me think about the superficiality of everything, including everything I’ve just said. How pathetic it is. I seem to lack originality of thought and depth of feeling.