Thursday, October 22, 1981

I waste my life

I talked to Claire most of the morning. We talked about all sorts; she has her life really planned out, wanting to be married at 23, have six kids, a rich husband, and expects to be engaged in two years. Throughout, I hated myself for the stupid things I kept doing or saying. She said I’d been “strange” all morning.

God, afterwards, I got so irritable and so utterly paranoid about everyone and everything. I waste my life. It’s hopeless.

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