Friday December 12th

I went after all. English first lesson was with Giles, and I got my Wilfred Owen appreciation back (“Very Good”). We talked about poetry and about Shakespeare’s sonnets – “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day” one in particular (no. 15 I think it is).

I went to try find Ingham again about Biology, but the bell went so I dutifully trudged off to L4 and installment no. 1 of my triple Biology. I got last weeks essay back (or lack of it) – I got 3/10. We had all theory today – finishing discussing enzyme control by varying temperature, pH and concentration and also about enzyme inhibitors.

At break I saw Ingham – no, he hadn’t seen her yet, but he’d seen Wilson who seemed to think it was all OK. Lewis told me to raise the matter with Mrs. Newsholme during the lesson. This I did (well, in break actually) and she said that although she’d be “more than happy” for me to continue, the decision was up to me. She also said that in her opinion I’d be capable of gaining a grade B. This only made things worse! I’m a bit indecisive now.

We had a test second lesson which I found ‘quite’ easy – ironically enough, I found today’s lessons easy to understand and interesting – so that by dinnertime I was in two minds again.

We got off the lesson at 1.00 p.m (private study) and I sat in the common room with all the gang – I talked to Deborah mainly. What Lee said kept coming into my head as she told me about Bulgaria. There was a bit of embarrassment over this Christmas thingy – I said, casually, that I wasn’t going (“I’m not going on my own”) to which Deborah replied “Claire is going.” Me: “No doubt she’s going with somebody already”; Claire: “I’m not” – Deborah: “I’m not going so you can have my ticket.” Me: Blush, blush. I was annoyed with myself again – so corny. History was uneventful.

I spent the evening playing records downstairs and doing my leagues. Because it’s all in the ‘papers still, I felt a bit sad about Lennon – especially since they showed a clip on tele’ of a 1975 concert (the clip was on TOTP last night) and there, in the front row, was a man who, it is thought now, was Mark Chapman, listening to Lennon singing “Imagine.”

I’ve felt really rotten over the prospect of Christmas – I’m skint and I’ve got to buy loads of pressys still – also, what to do about school? If I buy them something too personal or too ‘expensive’ they’ll (and others) will take me wrong yet if I don’t give them anything I’ll appear mean. My lack of money is acute. Also, Athletic lost 0-2 at Skirrow.