Friday, October 10, 1980

Friday October 10th

How I hate Fridays! With triple Biology I’m given a horrible feeling of being left out of something. Mrs Newsholme told us in registration to be thinking of an assembly to do for a week next Wednesday, and J. B. immediately thought of doing a play similar to one they’d done last year. In it was J. Crabtree, L. Hoy, D. Verity and Tommy Whelan. At first he wanted to rope me into it – I declined. Doing a debate is one thing – actually acting would be virtually impossible. Everyone was discussing it in last lesson (Ingham was away), and Duncan Verity quite held the stage, telling jokes and being cynical in front of Lynn Norden, Carol Lancaster, Michelle Cliff, C. Pearson, D. Blakey and Beaumont, making them laugh.

I feel quite low. It’s an awful feeling I’ve had this evening – a combination of circumstances. I know I’m being highly irrational and fantasising wildly – a petty, immature infatuation. It really is making me feel listless. I look forward to school but on the other hand I don’t – I don’t like coming home, I feel jealous when I’m in a lesson and everyone else has a free period. I make myself appear boringly mundane and hopeless.

Tomorrow I’ve got to go into Easterby for some new shoes; I also want my hair cutting and I’ve got to buy a new book for this journal. Mum kept saying that I’ve appeared miserable these last two days “normally a cheerful soul” etc . . . . . , as did Nanna P. who arrived today.

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