Monday November 24th

I got to school at the normal time, a bit earlier than usual and after assembly I sat in the common room with Deborah, Claire, Julie, Michelle, Lee, Jeremy, Duncan, Richard and Tommy. I put up a pretence of doing my English – the absolute volume is overwhelming and just to think of it is making me feel ill – and as usual, I did little.

Second period Lee and Pearson went to Geography and I did my Biology. In History, I forgot my file of notes so I had to start on paper.

I generally enjoy school; at dinnertime we all talked and the usual group socialised. After another hour of History we had Biology. Since one of the group had a Geography lecture and two others were ill, Mark Pittock, Tracey Booth and me went down to try and persuade Mrs Wade to allow us to have the lesson for private study – she collared us and went over our test papers with us (I got 5/10). Christ, I was so annoyed. She seemed to be doing it deliberately, keeping us there as time ticked preciously away. I really did try to escape her clutches but she wouldn’t let us go until ten minutes before the end when I gratefully went up to the common room.

I didn’t go to afternoon registration because I was setting out the chairs in the common room, for this debate. The motion was, “This house believes that Euthanasia should be legalised.” Proposing the motion were Mandy Jenkinson and Duncan Verity whilst opposing were Claire Pearson and Deborah Blakey. Although things started off lively enough, we soon became bogged down in the wording of the motion. People disagreed about the wording; either “voluntary euthanasia,” “suicide” or just plain “euthanasia” so we had a quarter of an hour squabble, amending things, and reamending the amendments.

Claire’s speech was the poorest quality wise (she said she forgot her point half way through) and she was really nervous - I could see her trembling from where I was sat. I walked on to the barber’s with Pearson (including her younger sister) and Deborah B. after the debate. I love the way I’m becoming much more involved in ‘conversations’ with them – they seem willing to talk to me. I also got invited to another party – Claire asked me if I had enjoyed Saturday evening and then said that on Saturday Dec 6th I was invited to the Pearson celebration of her birthday (not a birthday party as such she said). The only thing about this was I was a bit annoyed with myself for being perhaps a bit terse with Deborah – not really terse but I gave her the wrong answers and I’m feeling now that perhaps she feels I’m ratty. I’m most likely totally silly.

I hardly had anything cut off my hair – mostly thinned out and I wish my hair was like this all the time.

Another noting evening – no bloody homework attempted again. I played records in my bedroom mainly.

I must be in a good mood just lately because tonight I was whistling and singing quite happily along with the music. I really do enjoy their company. It is hard to define precisely. But the way they seem to really want to talk to me and know me and be friendly. Whether it’s näieve or not I don’t know but I certainly feel good and almost excited.